We Are Eclipsing
As we move closer and closer to the end of October there will be a very loud cycling of the themes within our soul. These themes will perhaps be more prominant than we have experienced in the past due to the clearer vision our accelerated growth has gifted us. This last accelerated window is cleaning up/summarizing karma from the past time cycle, while on top of that the veil is thinning. This means you may actually see other lives at parallel emotional times to where you are now. These bleed throughs will come into your consciousness depending on what your dominant abilities are. You may feel intense grief along with a certain smell (clairsentience). You may get visions of a dusty yellow wall paper from the 1800’s and silk wedding slippers (clairvoyance). You may simply get a very, very intense physical sensation (physical clairsentience). These impressions may be wafting forward because specific emotional triggers resonate them into your awareness. The purpose of this is to add depth to your healing and bring acknowledgement to the other aspects and abilities within your soul. This type of bleed through experience is common in ascension cycles where the purpose is to release patterns that no longer serve us so that we may open into a new way of being in synchronicity with the enhanced new universal light.
Many people wonder what it is like to function psychically in a very high capacity, the coming months are a good opportunity for us to explore this. When we begin experiencing from the view-point of our soul, we loosen our grip on this life, and begin to follow our emotions and experiences into parallel situations in other lives. A broad, soul encompassing resonance becomes the determining factor of our perception. In these moments we realize that we are here as individuals but also something much, much greater.
Battle of Chantilly, a thunder storm & some nausea.
This experience happened to me just the other night. Tropical storm Hermine was beginning to hurl herself up the Atlantic coast making her presence known with loud thunder claps and jagged flashes of electric light. An odd stillness hung in every window as people sealed their storm shutters, and pulled their cars into the garage. I just finished my last session of the day, grateful that the internet gods did not take my wifi away during the high winds, when I started to feel nauseated. I don’t get nauseated much, so this was particularly troubling.
I decided to go lie down for a while and just as I was going to head upstairs I had a very clear knowing, as though I had known it all along but didn’t realize it, that this date and this thunderstorm were very, very important. I got an image of an old house on a a hill surrounded by large trees. I was no longer Gigi, I was someone else, another girl, same soul, same eyes but a different perspective. I knew I lived there virtually alone; it was too big of a property to be any good for one person. It only seemed to echo the emptiness and futility I was feeling. There was a piano in the parlour, a talent that in itself is beautiful but that I despised because I was forced to play. I remember feeling the constant guilty ache of being surrounded by such beautiful things and not being appreciative of them in the slightest. The awkward lostness that I am ‘ungrateful’ because ‘I have everything’ but want none of it. I immediately recognized this feeling from my childhood. The feeling of being controlled so tightly that by the time you are old enough to actually live you can’t because you don’t know who you are, there was nothing left of you. That, or the real you was never truly able to grow. I was far from my heart. I was numb.
I had been here before, to this big lonely house, in different snippets while dreaming or meditating, but nothing loud enough to fully grasp. The next vision I had was running out into a storm, the thunder was as loud and chaotic as I felt inside. My bare feet soaked cold in grass and mud as I burst into complete hysteria as though the world was falling down around me. Then the memory of ‘civil war’ popped into my awareness. “Thunderstorm, civil war, now. Thunderstorm, loss, civil war, NOW.” This splattering of emotions, memories and visions repeated itself over and over and over again. I tried to solidify as many details as possible as I opened my laptop to see what google had to say about these very intense impressions I was receiving.
I typed: “civil war,” “thunderstorm” and the date, “September 2nd”, into the search engine. I wasn’t expecting much as many times when these things happen they are so personal or obscure it is difficult to find external validation. But, apparently, this was not one of those times. Google spit out a bunch of websites chronicling a civil war battle, during a thunderstorm, on Sept 2nd (well, ok it was Sept 1st, but you know, time slips). Titles like: “Battle of Chantilly”, “The Thunderstorm and Battle of Ox Hill”, line my computer screen. As it turns out there was a battle on September first, in Virginia, and there was indeed a thunderstorm. Part of me took a sigh of relief as I did feel oddly drawn to the Southern states, feeling more at home here than I thought possible. I also married a Texan, which is not typical for a Canadian. My strange love of Spanish moss and identification with Southern culture (hay cornbread, boiled peanuts, sweet tea, butter beans and covered porches I’m talking to you.) seemed a bit more grounded.
My next step was to allow all of this to flow together so that I can understand why this bleed through is happening in such a prominent way. Something my guides had instructed me to do years ago when other mysterious impressions blended into my awareness. And just as I made this intention I was taken to the sound of glasses clinking, muffled voices laughing, and the thick smell of cigar smoke. I’m sitting on the stairs in a soft yellow, pink and white ball gown with delicate rose embroidery that feels like organza. There is a frill around the neck that falls below my shoulders I feel like I am waiting for someone, and I’m not exactly excited about it.
The next memory was one that I had accessed during a past life regression. I am in the upstairs foyer with the dull yellow wallpaper, I am about to be married, I have a dress on and these silk slippers. I feel as though I cannot put the slippers on because if I do, things will change forever and I will never have a chance to ‘get out.’ I also feel like I have feelings for someone else, but it seems impossible. It also occurs to me that as a woman I have very few options with what I can do with my life and that I must make a wise decision while I am young. I feel a distinct choice between my heart and the life that is chosen for me. I cannot see a way where I win. I am lost. I feel like there is something wrong with me.
Suddenly, I am moving forward in time. I am older and I am running out of a house again. A different house (?) one that is near a graveyard that has light coloured headstones I used to dash between as a young child. There is water near the cemetery, and I like it there, it is a peaceful place for me. I have black, or dark red, stained all up a white apron I have over my dress. I feel such an immense sense of loss, futility and regret. I can smell smoke. I do not know why all of this trauma needs to happen, I want things to go back to how they were. I am pleading to God to make things different. I have seen this scene many times.
The next scene I am in the old house in the country by myself. I do not know what happened or if this is before or after the wedding scene. What I can see is that I was put here. I was put here by my parents because I was an embarrassment. I refused to behave in a way that was acceptable to my family. I had crazy ideas and opinions that women should not have. I feel a complete isolation from my family and angry at myself for having such a difficult personality. I get a sense that they are in Georgia (??), where I grew up, and that I am in a vacation house more north. I know that my father is important, perhaps French, and that I am an after thought to him. He is a shallow man more concerned with appearance and material things than his family.
In this scene I begin to understand the parallels in my life now. The theme of choosing my heart, my path, even when it seems like no one will stand with me, I know very well. The inner nagging that I am too strange to be understood or truly loved would visit uninvited whenever it pleased. Isolation, neglect and lack of emotion or compassion was a prominent and deeply cutting theme in my formative years and is no stranger to me today. Perhaps the strongest feeling that raced across my heart that connects to now is that I can’t have it all. That if I follow my heart I will have to lose in some way, whether it be my family, friends or social acceptance. But if i do not follow my heart, I will lose myself. These are things that have carried over, these are my echoes.
This impossible haunt of emotions was coming forward now, right on time: 154 years to the day, to be evaluated again by me. It rose within me via a soul level synchronicity to finally bring peace to aches and stories that lived in me from another time. I could hear my higher-self whisper through an infinite well of patience: “Can you see the pattern? Can you see another path? Can you? Can you?” “Yes” I responded from an unconscious place deep beyond my bones that I did not realize I had. I responded to my higher-self by repeating the impressions and apparent lessons I received, a ritual I do to bring full circle psychic insights. I felt the power of the present moment and my ability to shift into a higher path, I do not need to repeat this again. I reiterated the distinct parallels from this life and my last and as I did further flashes of wisdom popped forward. It is time to rise. I felt wide open teary gratitude that I was able to have enough clarity to make the connections I did. And with that the nausea disappeared and a lightness filled my mind and heart. Over the coming days more insights leaked through, and as they shined within me, etheric cords, pain, and stubborn, confused voices that once tugged so intensely evaporated. The usual situations, relationships and projects I pondered through out the day I now see with new eyes.
I believe that nature functions in cycles, some are obvious like the seasons or day and night, while others are on such large scales that only our timeless soul will remember and be triggered. I believe it is these cycles that form the rhythm of our experience, they help turn the wheel of karma, feed synchronicity and join fractures of our soul. They bring us the same situations in different bodies hoping that we will choose a higher path. This is what happened to me September 2nd, during a thunderstorm, 154 years to the day, of September 2nd, which was also a thunderstorm. However, this time I was no longer at war.
As we are in the time of bleed throughs I leave you with this blessing. As your eyes fall upon this page I wish wish for you the clarity and grounded awareness to see all that you need to see and know all that you need to know in all directions of time. If I can do this, you can do this. I offer you here now warm love and infinite wisdom from my heart, may it reach you in full brilliance no matter where you are, no matter how much you feel you do not deserve it, because you do. I invite you to absorb now any codes that are available to you through my experience. Even though they look like words they have great power and are keys to higher places. May you too weather your storms. May you choose the highest path.
All my love,