Every once in a while we have to take a good look at ourselves and what we are creating in this world and hold it up to the cosmos to see if we are vast enough. We have to ask ourselves are we big enough? Are we honest enough about where we want to be and who we are? Have we unintentionally spiralled into someones else’s plans for us? Have we been slowly sacrificing who we are until we are whittled down into someone we no longer recognize?
We are meant to be vast ever expanding galaxies spiralling into creation as deep as our courage allows. We are not meant to shrink, hide, or collapse ourselves into a fraction of what we have spinning in our soul.
We can value our fear for creating contrast in our lives, for adding weight to our journey, but make no mistake, your natural and most effortless position in this life is growth. We were born to expand beyond every fear, every ‘no’ and every doubt that we experience, whether it be from others or our own inner critic. When deny our expansion our heart aches and our perception of the world around us distorts.
This has been my process, I was in chaos because instead of owning all of myself with power I was playing small, questioning things away, and thinking myself into something I wasn’t. The sad thing is we all do this. We all play smaller than we are, we lean into safety distracting ourselves with things we have become convinced are more important. And I will tell you now: nothing is more important than your pure self expression in this life, without that nothing else flows. Our work becomes a chore, our relationships reduce into resentment, and our eyes begin to stop seeing technicolour. When we lose our sense of purpose everything else in our life deflates.
It is time to rise, you are beautiful, you have gifts and it’s time you release their magnetic pull. Here are a few tips that have helped me!
1) Honour all parts of your journey
Are you in the habit of feeling as though you have to completely re-invent yourself with each life transition or profound realization? As if in order to rise into the identity you feel you are moving towards you have to disassociate from where you have been? This scorched earth approach to our self development won’t get us far, in fact, it can create a polarizing internal division that makes it near impossible to actually progress.
Beyond creating an imbalance, this type of perfectionism will dissolve all of our messy creative energy before it is born, it’s a jerk like that. What if instead of indulging in the perfectionism and feeling as though we constantly need to re-invent ourselves and start clean, we brought our entire self with us and honoured it?
Don’t delete your ‘fat pictures.’ Don’t try to disassociate mistakes in order to feel as though you need to be better. Accepting our mistakes and weak spots allows us to work through them and potentially prevent them in the future. Avoid creating an air that sanitizes the bits of you that make you feel vulnerable. Invalidating aspects of ourselves means we cannot transform them so bring them with you, you will need them. Vulnerability is actually our strength. Love your path, as what we try to disassociate with will be brought back into our lives in other ways.
Accept that you were a bully in high school because it taught you compassion. Accept you were bullied because it taught you independence and self worth. Accept when you were really rude to the homeless person, you were struggling as well. Forgive yourself for any failures and bless them. Forgive yourself for losing friends because you were a poor communicator, it taught you to be more open. Embrace all those embarrassing moments, they made you humble. When we bless and embrace our mess we are able to build on it and genuinely transform the blindspots we carry that created these tough experiences to begin with.
This brings us into a space that is less polarizing and, less of a roller coaster ride. If you want duality to reign supreme in your life try to hide or suppress an aspect of your life or personality. Bring all of you with you, allow these lessons to continue to catalyze you into who you are becoming. Know that time, and the very nature of our existence, will soften our most jagged edges, but we have to accept them first.
2) Develop compassionate narcissism
Narcissism is a bit of a scary word, I know, but many of us need this level of self focus to actually rise. Believe it or not, there are many people who run on a deficit when it comes to focussing on themselves. It is as though self focus is a bad word and any time they find themselves in the spotlight, ask for ‘me time’ or speak up for themselves they experience feelings of anxiety. This sensitive demeanour can hold you back, big time.
How many times have you wanted to start a project but didn’t feel as though you could because of your obligations to friends or family? Do you find yourself avoiding the spotlight, moving into a position of power, or downplaying your talents because you are unsure of how you will come across or that you do not deserve it? Are you constantly focussed on creating harmony or serving others to the point that your own dreams seem like an impossibility? If so, it sounds like it’s time for a healthy dose of compassionate narcissism in your life. Your needs and personal expression are valid and it is time to take them off the back burner.
Just to be very clear, when it comes to developing compassionate narcissism the main point would be that you want to balance this ‘narcissitic’ focus by tuning into your environment and exercising compassion. You want to keep the self focus but not to the point that you do not register or value other people. We need this level strength and self conviction to overcome fears and break through internal walls, we don’t want to look down when we are climbing the mountain, but we can be mindful of the dynamics around us.
Narcissism gives us the kind of tunnel vision that allows us to move bravely, quickly and decisively. Compassion balances this energy, so even though we are becoming more self focussed it is not at the expense of others. Empaths and hyper sensitive people actually need this exaggerated self focus to complete projects and actually walk their own path because they can be wired to serve others to the point they are exhausted and physically ill. Compassionate Narcissism can give you the focus and edge that is needed to rise. Try it, as you go you may realize it is the most service oriented thing you can do!
3) Take care of your body
It is really easy in this day and age with computers and packaged food to forget about exercise and nourishing foods but we need a healthy vessel if we want to feel good and do good work. When we feel bad about ourselves or sluggish in our body every aspect of our subtle world and manifestation process suffers, everything is connected.
Drink plenty of water, eat whole foods, breathe deeply and exercise (sweat). We honour the earth, the physical world and our manifestation process at large when we do this. Many of us spiritually rooted folks can have fears about grounding preferring to disassociate with physical responsibilities. The problem with this is that it will limit your influence in the physical world, you may not be able to birth your creations to their full physical potential. Yes, avoiding connecting with your body limits your ability to perceive and connect to the physical world, our body represents our relationship to the 3d world as it is our 3d self, it is our interface.
An example of how this works is that you may find yourself having great ideas but unable to bring action to them. You may also turn to substances to keep from fully experiencing the physical plane which numbs your capacity to fully perceive the world around you and create something truly solid. You may simply be angry, confused or disconnected from the world, not because it is actually bad, but because it is reflecting your internal relationship with the 3d world. You also may simply not have the energy or the self image to feel as though you can do great things if you are not taking care of yourself. If you want to create something great in your life, you have to engage all of you, including your physical body. For many spiritual people, this is actually their greatest lesson, to be comfortable and engaging in a denser realm.
4) Take care of your mind
Take time to rest and open your mind, get used to having your mind feel like the cosmos, like wide open space. Allow yourself to associate that sensation with safety and normality. We often lean too much into our mind, we analyze things that do not need to be analyzed. We look for patterns to feel in control when we could be creating a receptive open space to simply know and find stability in feeling connection, not control.
Take time throughout the day to rest and empty your mind. Feed it good, gentle thoughts. Grow it into a structure that supports instead of destroys. Watch your ego and it’s obsession with safety. Look out for that inner critic, that conglomerate of every bully and unaccepting authoritative person you have ever met that told you you weren’t good enough. Know these darker folds of your mind and create separation by observing them instead of reacting or spiralling into open wounds. Our trauma will never heal if we keep validating it. You are more than your ego, much more. Begin to honestly realize that and you will know more of yourself.
Also keep learning, and reading. Give your intuition a powerful index to draw from. Challenge yourself to learn about topics that you are judgmental of, practice sharing ideas in respectful honest ways and get in the habit of writing down your observations and ideas. Our minds need exercise like that to avoid becoming an echo chamber.
5) Take care of your emotions
Honour whatever you feel whenever you feel it while being mindful that all emotions pass and that you are not your emotions.
Try not to invalidate your emotional voice. It doesn’t matter if someone has it harder than you, it doesn’t matter if you have time, it doesn’t matter what is going on. Suppression doesn’t work. Accept what rises as a message. Flow. We have a very high functioning emotional feedback system where our emotional body will communicate to us a message about where we are exactly as we need it to be. It is important to learn our emotional feedback system and honour it. We do this by accepting our emotions but not becoming confused and thinking that we are our emotions. It helps to move into your heart so that you can experience more sophisticated forms of emotional connection.
The truth is each day you will cycle through many emotions. You may feel frustrated at work and then peace may meet you unexpectedly as you see a deer walk across the road on your way home. Anxiety may knock in the evening only to be shattered by laughter and joy as you receive a phone call from an old friend. Our emotions are water they rise and fall, we ride them, we are not drowned by them.
While we are on the topic of emotions always remember to keep the light of love in your heart to temper low emotional states, don’t lose the light because when you lose that you may begin to lose yourself. Emotions are temporary, like the weather and even your life in this body, invest in realizing that you are the observer and a deep peace, confidence and precision will rise within you.
6) Converse with spirit
Your soul is your best teacher, ever, hands down. It will always be the clearest, honest, and easiest information you can integrate. Connecting to the higher consciousness of your soul will help you know who you are and why you are here, it will make sense of what seem impossible to the denser mind.
Take time to connect with your spirit. Meditate and get good at controlling your frequency. If you don’t know how to meditate google it, youtube it, take a class or read a book. There is really no excuse for not experimenting with meditation as there are so many outlets to dive in and experiment. Just do it. Yes, it is challenging, do it anyway.
Your soul is the seat of your creativity as well as your unique presence, without developing a connection it will be difficult to know who you are or truly make a lasting positive imprint in the world. You came here to ground the highest part of you here to this planet. Open your eyes and release your fears of the unknown and you will find a garden of never ending life to dwell in. You will feel what you have been missing because what we are missing is our whole self, our full spiritual presence in our own lives.
7) Root yourself into your purpose
Last but certainly not least, grab onto your joy, and live it. Once you dedicate your time to playfully exploring what you love you will experience greater shades of peace, creativity and bliss. Your body will be able to contain more life force energy and you will begin to heal on all levels. You have talents, several of them. So realize them, grow them, invest in them.
No matter how much you think what you enjoy doing doesn’t make sense, it does. Time will show you what you cannot see now. Welcome that surprise. If you don’t know where to start begin by what you think you may like or what you enjoyed as a child. Start somewhere. Drop expectations as they will only limit you or block you. Hold your visualizations gently in your heart and mind knowing with certainty that you are being pulled into your highest self in this life, on this planet. It is not about getting it right, it is about the dance, it is about the process and the secrets it reveals to you. This life is about the level of presence we can engage in each moment to truly live and feel what this universe is whispering. The more you surrender the more you will be lead, this is a journey of faith so get used to leaning into the unknown.
Rise and shine you beautiful beings! Thank you for stopping by!