Is Being Manipulative Natural?



Is everyone manipulative? Is it something that we are born with?

– Les

Hey Les,

Thank you for asking this intriguing question. This is the second time someone has asked me this question this week. I believe there is confusion around this because we learn to manipulate at such a young age via our environment. However, manipulation is not an action of a balanced individual. When we manipulate, it is an indication that we do not feel safe. Manipulation is not a function of our higher self but a signal that we need to look closer at why we do not feel safe enough or strong enough to be forthcoming.

When we are in our natural balanced state all that we need flows to us. There is no need to manipulate or strong-arm anything or anyone. Manipulation indicates that there is a deep level of mistrust to the point that one feels as though they must force things to happen. They do not truly understand their innate abilities or divine nature so they covertly try to gain energy by viewing situations as a chess game, by being false. Doing this actually undermines your ability to achieve real happiness or pleasure, as it was not reached authentically.

Manipulation is a vampiric action that humans develop when they do not understand how to relate to source. The root of manipulation is distrust. We turn to manipulation when we feel like things are not going to simply come to us; we feel we have to pull strings to get them. It comes from scarcity consciousness. We learn to be manipulative as a child, but this is learned behaviour, this is not how we “naturally” function. As we grow wiser and more in touch with our heart we begin to understand that our focus needs to shift to surrender and openness, strengthening our divine flow more than forcing or manipulating which reinforces a scarcity mindset.

Manipulation also attracts a destructive momentum, or “negative karma,” and we then ultimately learn through painful experiences why manipulation causes imbalances. We can use the occasions in which we choose to manipulate others as indicators of where we feel it is not safe to be honest and authentic. For example, if you lie to your partner to gain affection, is it because you do not feel you deserve to be loved exactly as you are? What qualities do you feel you lack? Observing when and where we do not interact honestly with others indicates where we need to examine ourselves internally.

The mindset of manipulation does not recognize the very important truth that all we need is already flowing to us. Our task is not to trick others to gain energy, but to simply allow it in. The opposite of manipulation is surrender, allowing the pure vibrational frequency of your heart and soul attract all to you. That is the place where we experience all the abundance and love we crave. In this state we recognize that all we need is flowing to us all the time. When surrendered and connected to the heart and higher self, we find the right answers come in even the most shocking or strange situations, no matter how unprepared we feel. This state of openness is your most powerful and influential state. You become very precise and efficient in manifestation and little energy is wasted on manipulating or forcing things.


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