I had a dream once, well, it was more like a memory, I was wondering about unity, forgiveness and what the appropriate action would be to bring healing to myself and others. I was noticing a lot of divisiveness in society rising after the election, I was disturbed by the excessive level of political correctness that seemed to completely ignore the human ability to feel behind words for intention.
I find censorship, in any form, deeply disconcerting as suppression leads to deep schisms in our collective psyche. It creates cycles of shame and silence that leads to even more potentially worse ‘politically incorrect’ outbursts. It is a slippery slope that we should be very aware of. Suppressing people, no matter how offensive they are doesn’t work, the energy needs to be transformed.
All people need to be heard in a healthy society, not shamed, no matter where they are coming from. If someone has ignorant, mean or unhealthy views these individuals actually need to be listened to and worked with, shame and public humiliation doesn’t work. We need to work with them, not because we are condoning their words, but because these individuals need to be exposed to a loving and forgiving energy.
When people become sour and hateful, the answer is not to silence them, but to actually model a different pattern. We have forgotten universal laws and connection to spirit. It is impossible to create deep change in society, from the outside in, we have to become strong as individuals, completely undefined by others and their opinions of us. The external world is created by our inner wold. Of course, it is difficult to be forgiving in this way, to see the highest good in the sick and damaged. It is especially challenging to love yourself, and develop yourself, to the point that you become invincible in regards to other peoples opinions.
If this seems impossible to you, if the voice in your head tells you this is some kind of utopian pipe dream, I have to ask, why are your standards so low? Why have we come to this planet if not to be alchemists, if not to make things better? Never settle.
One more question, could these voices be the ego giving us a sense of purpose being above others? Are we more honourable, intelligent and informed when we label others as bad people, or ‘incorrect?’ I ask because the ego creates many disguises and it loves to divide and create heirarchies.
Anyway, back to my memory. I asked to be shown a time where society dealt with this situation in a different way. This is often the fastest way to understand something deeply, to access a time where these truths were integrated and alive.
I was a small man in a loin cloth in a primitive society. It was dusty, and all around me was my small community of perhaps 30 others. Unfortunately, I was a bad apple. I could immediately tell I was deeply damaged emotionally. An inky blackness surrounded me, dead energy perpetuated by my shame. My nervous system twitching with guilt. I had extremely low self worth.
I was angry and lashing out at people. Misery was the only thing I could spill because it was all I could feel. All of these actions were a cry for help. I was so distorted and damaged that I all I could do was spew the nastiness inside of me, I felt undeserving of help or compassion, I had forgotten how to give these things to myself.
On the surface I looked like a hateful, hopeless, useless person because on the inside that is what I felt about myself. According to my behaviour, everyone around me had the right to be angry at me for not controlling that toxic energy within me. Perhaps they even had the right to exile me, or at the very least shame and humiliate me in front of my peers. I could feel within me that these actions would have only solidified how much I already hated myself. Within all the turmoil and confusion I would have also had ‘permission’ to be even more violent and destructive as that lack of compassion from society would have confirmed that this behaviour was appropriate.
This is not what happened though. The next memory I have is being surrounded by my ‘brothers’ in the tribe. I am laying down and there are about 8-10 around me, surrounding me from every angle. I feel an openness. The next thing I know I am sharing everything inside of me. All of my emotions and my darkest thoughts are pouring out of me and I start to cry. I begin by sharing the hurts and abandonment of my childhood. I was left by my own father to die, my mother I never knew. As this occurs, they grab my hands, they smile and say:
“I’ve been there!”
“Have you been there?”
Another brother asks to the person beside him.
“Yes, yes, I have been there.”
He replies with a kind look in his eyes.
I was shocked, I was not expecting anyone to accept this answer. I expected them to tell me that I should not feel what I was feeling, that time had passed and I should be moving on. I begin going deeper and deeper, crying even more, sharing things that I think are unforgivable. I go into my darkest deeds, in a way, trying to challenge this acceptance, testing the limit.
“I’ve been there”
“I’ve been there”
“I’ve been there”
All chimed in around me. All of my brothers nodded in agreement and continued to rock back and forth like a comforting lullaby. This went on for what seemed like hours. No one became impatient or distracted, everyone around me was focussing on me, listening, understanding and letting me know that they have been where I have been.
“I’ve been there.”
“We’ve been there”
They continued. Their soft smiles and nurturing laughter let me know I could survive. All of my most tormented actions and thoughts, and some were terrible, seemed to dissolve in this unconditional love and acceptance of my peers. Some times they sat in silence with me and just allowed unconditional love to speak, but most things I had said were responded to with this nurturing acceptance and understanding. They had become the love that I did not know, or realize, I could give myself. These words surrounding me mixed with their patient presence created an environment of complete release. I began to feel my divinity, just as a little spark. My desire to fight with myself faded, it began to make no sense. I began to see how all of the things I had carried were not true deep in my soul. I began to see that beyond all of the lies I had told myself, and blinding pain, I was worthy and functioning. It was as though the inky blackness had been peeled away to reveal my true self.
That night women in the tribe fed me, bathed me and wrapped me in a warm blanket. They built a fire so I could be alone with the stars. This was the first time, in a long time that I felt I could be as vast as the sky. The next morning I was monitored by the tribe, I was listened to, fed and loved. I was not belittled or punished for my confessions and I was also not pitied. I was not made to feel as though I was a burden on the tribe and I did not feel left out. They didn’t try to push their agendas or beliefs on me even though they clearly had leverage. They understood that real change would come from allowing me the opportunity to feel unconditionally loved. They knew that A force deep within me would begin to speak again and steer the ship.
This treatment allowed me to release my fears and pain, they completely dissolved. I entered society again not as a labelled deviant but as a healer.
I helped other people heal where I was once wounded, and I joined the group of brothers and was deeply honoured to chime in: “I was there”, because I was. I was there.
What this memory has reminded me is that unconditional love and acceptance for ones self and others is what heals all wounds, no matter the depth. We are divine, we are love, we are God. We don’t have to get there, we are already there, unconditional love, forgiveness, and acceptance is simply the behaviour of someone who knows that.
Somewhere along the way, as we moved from small nomadic tribes of 30 to cities of millions, we forgot this truth. Perhaps annonymity and disconnectedness shielded us from feeling our own reflection in others. We began to believe that we need to punish ourselves and each other to keep order.
We began to believe that we were not strong enough to forgive or accept the life that unfolds. We invested in cycles of shame hoping that if we felt deep enough regret and dislike of ourselves that some higher force would step in and save us. We began to think that coldness was the appropriate response to the sick and wounded, not realizing that cruelty and abandonment of others has never been a vehicle of ascension.
The truth is, and always was, that we are our own saviours, and we are each others saviours. We save ourselves by forgiving ourselves for actions, thoughts and feelings that we have that do not represent who we are. We save others by forgiving them for actions that have hurt us, and loving them unconditionally, even if it is from afar. This stops the cycle of pain and ego that reduces society into reactive hurt animals. At the end of the day we have all been there, at some point or another in our existence, and as we honour all parts of ourselves and each other we rise into a strong collective- a tribe of billions.