Dear Gigi <3
my hands are shaking as I am writing this. I just came out of a meditation (pictures light expanding & contracting in body) & 2 minutes before the meditation ended I had to stop. My whole body was paralyzed. It was like someone had poured liquid cement into my body and as it was hardening it was trying to burst out of my body. Something wanted to burst out as if my body was an overflowing balloon of water. I had to REMIND myself to breathe because it felt like a panic attack, I thought I was going to die (mind probably took over). My arms were frozen into a weird position and my fingers were curled and it was all hard as a brick, I couldnt’ move anything or uncurl my fingers, like not even 1% they were LOCKED into position. This went on for 15 minutes as I breathed and tried to remind myself to breathe. Slowly I regained control over my body but my hands were frozen the longest, probably 25 minutes. Half an hour later they are still shaking. Any input on this?
Wow. That sounds like a very intense and scary experience, I am glad that you recovered. Now, let’s see if we can make some sense of this. I am not sure of the specific details surrounding your life at the time happened, or if there was an intention for the meditation, so I will have to speak to this situation from a general place. It may help to remember if you were going through something challenging at the time as that can be expressed in our visuals, sensations during meditation. What we experience in our inner world, and within the higher realms, can be traced back to where our consciousness was anchored. In other words, what belief systems were you referring to as your structure? By any chance were you feeling paralyzed somehow? Did you feel as though you could not move forward in an area of your life? Were you unsure, or divided, about meditation and spirituality? Also, pay attention to any intentions you set before the meditation. Were you looking to release trauma, look into a past life, or were you just free flying? Our meditations are the result of the our intentions, conscious and subconscious as well as our mood and beliefs.
It is possible that you actually astrally projected without realizing it. Astral projection happens when our consciousness, often called astral body or light body, begins to pull itself into the higher densities. This can be done intentionally or organically when we sleep/relax. Most people associate astral projection with sleep or very focused trained meditation techniques, however, we can astrally project by accident. One of the first times I heard someone speak about astral projection was neither a dream nor focused practice. A friend once told me that he was sitting at a bar, tired and heart broken, when he suddenly found himself floating above his body. He looked down and saw his physical form sitting on the bar stool below him. He wasn’t dead, just sitting there staring off into space. Once he began analyzing what was going on he found himself back looking through his physical eyes. Although this sounds pretty spooky, astral projection is a completely normal and necessary part of life. A large portion of our being/soul resides in the higher realms and we find a great deal of meaning, healing and wisdom by exploring and saturating ourselves in the higher densities.
Even though astral projection seems pretty nebulous and non-physical it can have a paralysis effect on the body. As you begin to re-merge back in your body you can feel as though you are dead weight, heavy, much like you are full of cement. Your waking mind does not know how to process the fact that you are in two realities at once, so until you can reintegrate into you physical body it may feel frozen. I have a video that explores sleep paralysis for further information.
Sudden intense release of emotion
Another scenario is that you were in a detoxification wave, or, a period of intense emotional release and realization. Emotions can create a physiological response such as when we are unearthing deeply rooted trauma. This freezing response can happen if you are conscious of what has been stirred up, or even if we are not conscious. If we are having an emotional and physical reaction we often feel pressure, or heaviness, it in our heart, guts, or even throat. We can become waterlogged as we are called to let go of what is literally too heavy to carry. If we are in a very relaxed state it can become easier to physically take on and express our inner subtle process’. When we are in our waking state, focussed externally, it is easier to create distance from our subtle worlds thus allowing us to suppress our emotions and spirit more easily.
It should also be noted that something very interesting happens when we meditate, we relax and begin to feel the light of our soul fill us, this influx of light can push painful memories or trauma to the surface. It is like cleaning the crusted bits of scar tissue off of our heart so that it can beat with all the vim and vigour it was designed to have. This is one of the reasons why we sit in stillness, to allow ourselves to re-orient in the direction of spirit (purpose). To shed what no longer serves us and become sober to our place within the universe. If something very deep is being brought forward it can feel like you are unable to move as you re-live an emotional energy that created a lot of pain in your past. This may be in this life or even other lives. Light, which can be experienced emotionally as love, is one of the best detoxifiers around and anything that is not light will be purged. It is extremely rare for a spiritual/emotional release to be as visceral and heavy as you have expressed, we often naturally metabolize our releasing so that we are not so consumed by it, but it is possible.
Perhaps the most important dynamic to discuss it not what was happening, but how to have a bit more control over this if it is to happen again. Always keep in the back of your mind that fear will seize you up and make things heavy while love will create ease, openness, strength and flexibility. This happens in our physical body as well, if we are in resistance to the flow life, if we refuse to adapt, change and open to the unknown we begin to seize up. If we are trying to control when we should be allowing our higher-self to step in, we will lose our flexibility and fluidity, we will become weaker. On the other hand, when we begin to consciously open, relax, and let spirit fill us where we feel we are are afraid and unsure we expand, heal, glow and gain strength and flexibility. It is the same in the higher realms although the result is immediate. What we think and feel we will experience in the subtle worlds without the delays of the physical world. It can help to practice feeling love, and surrender when you come into a situation that jars you or when you feel anxiety creeping up. This will allow higher wisdom from your soul to rush into the chaos that is spinning within you. When we can begin to train ourselves to react to challenges by first becoming still conscious light it will allow us to drop the paddles and be shown the higher reason why we feel shaken.
Those would be my best approximations of what happened to you. Thank you for your support. If anyone reading this has had a similar experience, or some further insight please comment below!